1. You want an EXTREME body? I’m talking an EXTREME, nothing-but –muscle-your-own-mother-wouldn’t-recognize-you body? You know what separates EXTREME bodies from normal ones?
Don’t. Sleep. Ever.
Use those eight hours to get RIPPED!

2. If you’re going to be EXTREME, you have to EAT EXTREME! That means you’ve got two options:

3. If you’re EXTREME, than you can MAKE YOUR OWN ENERGY. There’s nothing more EXTREME than a body that can FUEL ITSELF! It’s like you’re a POWERPLANT! ..Or just a..a… normal PLANT! PHOTOSYNTHISIZE THAT!

4. If you can’t handle that much EXTREME, then do what I do: ONLY EAT RAW MEAT.

5. If you want to be as EXTREME as the POWERPLANTS in number 3, then ONLY EAT THE MEAT OF THINGS THAT ARE RIPPED. I’m talking lions and tigers and bears. Raw. With your bare hands. Alive. If you want an EXTREME body, be at the TOP of the food chain! OR:

6. You can ONLY EAT CUTE THINGS. I’m talking baby seals, kitties, puppies, and butterflies. Use your self-loathing to PUMP SOME REAL IRON and make yourself EXTREME!

7. If you’re going to be EXTREME, you can only drink SWEAT, TEARS, and the BLOOD OF YOUR ENEMIES.

8. If you want to be MORE EXTREME, then only drink POISON! Your EXTREME body can take it!

9. To get that EXTREME, hairless, glistening body that everyone wants, use a CAR BUFFER! If that’s not EXTREME enough, use BOILING WAX! Wax on, wax off, the EXTREME way!

10. EXERCISE COMES FIRST. If you’re going to be EXTREME, you have to PUSH YOURSELF TO THE LIMIT. You need to do things like:

11. Chop down TREES—The EXTREME way! USE YOUR BARE HANDS!

12. Demolish HOUSES—The EXTREME way! USE YOUR BARE HANDS!

13. Kill your NEIGHBOR—The EXTREME way! USE YOUR BARE HANDS!

14. Invade CANADA—The EXTREME way! USE YOUR BARE HANDS!

15. If that’s not EXTREME enough for you, then USE YOUR BARE FEET!

16. If you’re going to be EXTREME, you CANNOT ever get SICK! MEDICINE is for SISSIES. If you ever feel like your sick, just:

17. EXERCISE THRU IT. Sweating will purge your EXTREME body of ANY illness! (And make you GLISTEN!)

18. EXTREME bodies have one use for books: WEIGHTS. An EXTREME body can bench press ALL THE CLASSICS! With ONE HAND! On JUPITER! Which leads to:

19. EXTREME bodies DON’T NEED OXYGEN! Amaze your SISSY friends by SURVIVING ONLY ON MUSCLE! You don’t HAVE blood. You’re EXTREME!

20. EXTREME bodies can make EXTREME jumps! You’ll be able to jump to and from EXTREME heights without a SECOND THOUGHT! Start by jumping OFF YOUR ROOF. Not high enough? Then you’re EXTREME!

21. EXTREME bodies can take EXTREME beatings! If you’re EXTREME, cars don’t hit you—YOU hit CARS! MAKE THEM GET OUT OF THE WAY! You’re EXTREME!

22. EXTREME bodies have EXTREME bones.  EXTREME bodies fall from ten stories onto concrete—and BREAK THE GROUND!

23. If you want to be EXTREME, you have to THINK EXTREME. Old lady wants help across the street? THROW HER. You’re EXTREME!

24. EXTREME people don’t follow LAWS. EXTREME people DON’T NEED LAWS. Laws are for WIMPS in TIES.

25. EXTREME people don’t waste time READING. What are you DOING HERE! GET THE HELL OUT! GO EXERCISE! GET EXTREME!